Tuesday, August 28, 2012

One Year Ago

I woke up early on the morning of Sunday, August 28th, 2011.  I thought to myself “now is as good a time as ever.”  I crawled out of bed carefully so as not to wake up Mike.  I didn’t want him to know what I was planning on doing.  The specialist had told me that our quest to have a child had once again failed, that the drugs that had been so hard on my body were not working and that I’d have to take even stronger ones once my next cycle started.  I was told to call once it did, and warned that it might take a little longer than normal.  “Call us if you don’t get anything in a few weeks, we have medicine for that too!” I was told. 


A few weeks passed.  I knew the drill well enough to know that when I called to report that I was still waiting on the start of my next cycle, they wouldn’t do anything until I took a pregnancy test.  Which would explain why I was standing in my bathroom with a pregnancy test in my hand.  I had grown to hate those things – they’re a 30-second roller coaster.  I would wait on the results just long enough to start thinking that maybe, maybe, it was finally MY turn, only to crash back down to reality once the single line appeared.  Every time it was the same.  At least this time I wouldn’t have to tell Mike that the results were negative, since he didn’t know I was planning on taking the test.  The poor guy had been through enough dealing with me while I was on those meds.  Here we go…

And then the test immediately turned positive.  I clapped my hand over my mouth to catch the word that almost tumbled out of it.  I checked the results against the box six times to make sure I was reading it right.  Then I checked it four more times.  Then it hit me: I must really be pregnant!  I didn’t know how that could be possible, but it was!  That would explain why my waistline was disappearing and I suddenly had no interest in food…

Now what??  In a few minutes, I would try to cogently explain to Mike what had happened, only to blurt it out, but first I took a minute to sit in the bathroom and let it sink in.  For that 60 second span, it was just me and that tiny baby, getting to know each other for the first time.

Elijah Michael, you are my shining star.  I will never forget the moment when I first found out about you.  You were worth the wait!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He was waiting in God's arms for you and Mike too. I can't think of a better Mom and Dad for this little boy.